Jesse Fact Dog
"The Fact Dog"
That infamous Funny Blue Dog you've no doubt scene out of the corner of your vision.
A college student of unknown age, Jesse "Fact Dog" [LASTNAME UNAVAILABLE] is a rather enigmatic fellow.
First off, unintentionally he's rather effeminate. It's not like he tries to be girly, but his tastes down to his voice lead him to a rather femboyish result.
Secondly, ■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■?
Uhhhh.. Why did the text do that
Anyways he's very nerdy. That photographic memory of his is what got him the nickname Fact Dog, especially with his pension for learning new things. Though he's uh, not too quick recalling things, so he can often come off as naive or forgetful. It's all logged away in that head of his, yet it always seems to take a few seconds to recall some of that vast expanse of knowledge. Maybe he's got so much in there it's like sorting through a library for the right info? Doesn't help that he's not too street smart, most recent memes will confuse him.
He works as the secretary of the heiress of the Coakakora Family, Berry. This leads him to be used by her in a lot of marketing and running social media accounts, as he's quite marketable apparently. People just can't get enough of that funny blue dog
And when I say "Funny Blue Dog" that's just about the only real descriptor that can be given. He's not even like, a specific breed of dog, fuckin like what kinda dog is even blue that ain't natural. What's even weirder, he was born to completely human parents. He wasn't adopted either, genetically he comes up at their biological child. Apparently it's a hereditary genetics thing where someone exactly like him is born every so many generations so long as one of him was somewhere up within the family tree. I wish I could say it's reincarnation cuz theres only one that exists at any time but like, every one of them born is their own person??? Each one born supposedly has a different yet similar personality so who's to say when this one dies of old age the next one will be super different eventually.
I specified old age for a reason, Jesse cannot be normally killed. It's not like he's immortal or Invincible, as he can "die" its just that eventually, if you don't look at his body for a few seconds it's like ge respawns like a video game character like nothing happened. He's completely aware of this too, he'll remember dying. Yet it's like it's normal? He doesn't make a big deal out of it like he just assumes thats not a wierd thing only he can do???
He does other strange ass shit too like it's normal. For example, he just appears places. He doesn't consciously do it either. To him it's like he's just regularly walking from place to place and is like "hmm maybe cutting through here will be faster" and he takes a path that only temporarily exists and he's traveled a 30 minute walking distance in 10 even if it's just a straight line from one place to another!
Don't even get me started on his glasses! He never takes them off. They never need to be cleaned as they never get dirty fuckin somehow. If anyone seems his eyes under his glasses (which are basically just 2 vertical lines btw) the universe is instantly destroyed in a fraction of a nano-second, and recreated exactly as it was just without whoever witnesses his eyes never having existed and the impact of their absence in the world. This has only happened once, and not even Jesse himself knows of this. Whenever it actually happened that one time he just assumed he was sleep deprived and went about his day.
Weird fuckin thing
Blue enigmatic dog creature
There is no true explanation for him
The universe probably just messed up somehow and created a recurring blue dog phenomenon